I remember begging you to let me put my name on it in glitter. You said no, that it ruins stocking. I said yes that I deserved sparkles. You caved and I got to put Jessica Noel in glitter!
Yesterday, I smelled lamb chop and it smelled like home. Like you. Like joy and love and Christmas cheer. In my mind, I was back in our apartment and the house was bright but warm with cheer, everything was decorated and it was just so wonderful. A sense of true happiness.
Then I opened my eyes and was instantly transported back to this place without you.
I hope you are happy. I hope wherever you are, there was Christmas joy. Maybe where you are, it's like Christmas every single day? (Only you wouldn't have to cook. Lol)
Over the years, I have also come to know that it doesn't feel like Christmas without my purple macaroni ornament. I made it in kindergarten. I remember we spent three days making it. We all choice a cut out shape and wrote our name on it. I was sad that I didn't get to use the siccors. Then I wrote my name on the back, wrong and they wouldn't let me erase and start over. We did get to punch a hole in the top though. Then we got to glue on macaroni. All different shapes. I chose the shapes that we are with velvet a- our fav. The next day, we got to paint it any color and add sparkles. I picked purple, my fs color and added silver sparkles with a bit of rainbow. The paintbrush was huge in my hand. The next day we added a string and took it home. I was so proud and so were you. And from that day on, it has always hung on our tree.
I miss you and love you and wish you were here to be cheerful and celebrate with me. But don't worry, I did a good job being merry for the both of us!
All these years, you always put my Christmas happiness above all else, and now it's my turn to keep that love alive...